Today was just one of 'those' days. I just could not wake up this morning and after pressing the snooze button for the hundredth time, I finally decided I'm just not gonna go for the morning meeting. When I eventually woke up I just kept thinking why do I have to put myself through this? I literally dragged myself to work today and as soon as I got there I realised it was gonna be a long day!
Our reg was post call so the other intern and I were left with all the ward work and I don't know what happened but the consultant was on a roll today so it was like every patient required something; bloods, urine cultures, stool cultures, lumbar punctures etc. etc. So we worked together, skipped lunch and I eventually managed to finish at 18:00p.m. (normal working day is till 16:00). While walking to the lab to drop off some specimens before going to my car, I felt really sorry for myself and kept thinking why am I doing this? It's just so weird coz in medicine you can't really put off tasks till the next day - things have to be done coz people's lives depend on it! And as the intern doctor you can't exactly just pass on unfinished work to anybody... so ja.....And then the walk to the car - I didn't realise it was dark outside already and I had quite a far walk to my car. [In any other place (besides South Africa) an evening walk would be quite pleasant.]
Anyway while driving through Edendale hoping I reach home safely - Edendale is not the best place for a woman to be driving alone at night - I had Allah Knows by Zain Bhika playing. The following words really struck me "When you carrying a monster load, and you wonder how far you can go, just remember no matter where you are, Allah knows" When I heard this I was like how stupid can I be, obviously Allah knows what I'm going through and He will never put me through something He knows I won't be able to handle. So I just said Alhamdulillahi Alla Kullee Haal, I mean things could have been worse, so why am I feeling so despondent and being so ungrateful?
I've become a doctor through the will of Allah and Insha Allah I'll be rewarded for my sacrifices. May Allah guide and help us all, Ameen.
4 comments:
I almost cried reading this :(
I don't know how to comfort you. Well I guess those words of Zain Bikha came at the right time.
Just think that things could have been much worse. And appreciate what you have now. I know it's difficult.. ahh May Allah make it easy for you. Allah rewards those who are patient without reckoning.
Wow... You totally wrote this so well I could almost picture you there. Look how when you were feeling real down a simple message came to you, and he sent you a message through Zain Bikha's words now that is something.
I hope everything works out for you, and that just remember being a Dr. It's not supposed to be easy otherwise we all would be Dr's you are fortunate enough to have this chance. Grab it with both hands and be eternally grateful...
Keep It up, looking forward to your next adventure Dr ;)
Alhamdulillahi Alla Kullee Haal
That is awesome, I never heard it before but it's awesome.
'Praise to Allah in every condition'
@BintAbee, @Adeel Qureshi: Tnx for the sweet comments:) It's true nobody said being a Dr is gonna be easy!
@SS: It's one of my favorite duas, there's a nice story I read about this - I'll post it when I find it:)
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