Monday, December 24, 2012


Ever read a book that's really long and has so many characters, by the time you reach the middle, you're anxiously flipping back to the begininng, to remind yourself about who the characters are and their relation to the story? Lol hate wen that happens!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Emotional Exhaustion

I have recently come to realise that a big part of why many health care professionals become so exhausted/disillusioned/burnt-out, is because of all the emotional burdens of our patients, that we have to carry. It's true...I guess patients hope that somehow, you as a health-care worker may be able to assist them with their other stressors, in addition to their medical conditions.

I seem to be faced with this quite often and it's actually very taxing. I don't know if I have a 'face that makes people wanna talk' but honestly lots of patients seem to want to share their problems/stressors with me. Believe me it can get VERY depressing. My poor mum!

The worst part for me is that often I simply cannot come up with a reasonable solution and I get this feeling that the patient wants me to help... but...there is no rapid solution...what am I to do!!! At the same time you don't want the patient to feel that you're just disregarding their problem and you don't want to come across as being glad you yourself are not in their dreary situation. Gosh it is really really difficult!

Abusive husbands, abusive children, children on drugs, mean employers, job losses, financial issues, not coping with terminal illnesses, not wanting to live any longer....the list goes on. Oh and lets not forget patients with psychiatric conditions!! Seriously they can tell you the sickest things!& all while keeping a straight face...It's really gross:(

It's difficult to describe the emotions you go feel really sorry for the person but don't know what solution to offer... wait there is no solution...or is there & you just cant think of one?....the situation is quite bleak but you've gotta offer some hope....sometimes it's even difficult to find the right words of comfort
:( I don't know what to!...I have to say something...without my voice breaking....I'm the Dr remember? The patient's looking to me for help/hope/comfort???  The situation looks hopeless and I feel helpless.... Sigh.
I guess it would be a tiny bit easier if the person was Muslim? Coz there's always comfort in Allah's words. Somehow when I use the word 'God' to comfort someone it always sounds so cold and...distant...oh dear!

Seriously all these stories/stressors haunt you.....and you kinda have to learn not to think too deeply about it...but you keep thinking back to what you could have said or how you should have acted.... Honestly, I don't know how to deal with such situations...or do I? There is no "Right" way anyway, coz responding to emotions cant be taught and learnt, right?

Any suggestions?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Where am I?

Actually I'm around, just been too busy to even get on the net!

Almost done with internship - can hardly believe the two years are almost over! Awaiting news of my community service placement....alhamdulillah I haven't been second rounded so at least I know I'm going to one of my five choices lol.

Currently busy with Internal Medicine...its okay so far. Not a bit like surgery, which I was busy with before this. U know, before I started with my surgery rotation, I expected that I was gonna enjoy it alot....haha total opposite! I ended up hating it:( By the end of the rotation I was totally burnt out. It was really a combination of factors that left me feeling this way, but honestly speaking it just felt like I had no life.
Surgery here is BUSY guys!!! I mean really BUSY. Yep its full of action and really interesting and I had at one stage toyed around with the idea of specialising in Trauma, but seriously when yet the next totally drunk guy with multiple stabs, is brought in by his equally drunk friends (who miraculously escaped any injuries)....agh just roll ur eyes and for the millionth time think "Why the hell am I doing this!!!!"
The stench, the vomiting and weeing and defaecating, the swearing....It really gets to you. I cannot stand drunk patients!

I think the trauma here is on another level...I mean seriously many of the patients come in and their files show that they have a 'history' of assault/stabs etc. Most if not all the cases are alcohol related. And the worst part is many of the patients actually use their inpatient time to plan their revenge! I'm dead serious - the patients actually tell you about how they cannot wait to go teach the perpetrator a lesson....

I also ended up being one of the 'lucky' few interns to work in the burns unit...and yep it was winter here in SA i.e. Extremely busy. Hot water burns, flame burns, electric burns, u name it we had it. Also very sad and depressing:( I had nightmares of the kids screams during dressing-change.

Fasting and surgery, especially the calls, were really not a good combination...looking back I wonder how I actually managed it.... Allah was merciful.

Nway think thats enough of this totally depressing post...Surgery is over now Yay:) Hoping to have more of a 'life' during this rotation:) Till next time:)

Monday, July 9, 2012

This year is simply flying past!

Dont u think this year is passing so quickly? I cant believe we are already in the 7th month! And I've been soooooooo busy.....which explains my lack of posts:) So I started off with surgery in May and its been quite hectic! I've come to realise that I'm a 'traffic-person' i.e. my calls are always super busy! :D Its true even casualty staff look at me and say "oh no its gna b very busy tonite".

I've also learnt somethn new about myself...I simply cannot stand drunk patients! Really they just totally annoying mking stupid comments, or laughing at everything, or uncooperative or just sooo drunk that you cant even assess their GCS & dont know if they are just drunk or really do hv a serious head injury causing their depressed levels of consciousness! I guess I also feel irritated coz the injury they sustained was essentially self-inflicted. Allah has simply blessed us by forbidding alcohol.

The number of burns patients is also heart wrenching especially since the majority are babies. Its really really sad:(

Nway I'm currently in the colo-rectal firm....lots of PR's bleh:p I'm quite sick of being on call ...hv had too many recently:/ Have to hand in community service choices just b4 Ramadhan & at d moment hv no idea where I wanna go:/ coz d choices here in KZN look quite bleak:(
Nway remember me in your duas. slmz:)

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Brief Overview

What I was busy with for the 2weeks prior to my leave:


Where I went while on leave:

Most awesome cities in the world :) :)

What I'm currently busy with and exactly how I feel: LOL:P


Friday, March 30, 2012

:) :) :) :)

  • 1.       Yay for the weekendJ
  • 2.       It’s end of the month so we all got paid todayJ
  • 3.       Today was also my last day of working in the Accidents and Emergencies departmentJ

So yep I have a lot to smile forJ

Working in A/E wasn’t too bad except that unfortunately it’s not really busy during the day and so we didn’t get an opportunity to perform all the procedures we were expecting to. It also meant that we had to work in the Surgery Outpatients Department (SOPD). Don’t get me wrong, I actually liked working in SOPD and got a chance to perform many small procedures in minor OT (operating theatre) but there were times when it was just sooooo busy and often I felt as though the others who were actually supposed to be working in SOPD (unlike us who were meant to be ‘helping out’ only) were taking advantage of us. You know there would be times when you look up and suddenly realise hey its only the 3 family medicine interns running SOPD:/

Most of the days I worked straight through with no break at all, and I actually don’t know who’s fault that is! You see I have this problem were I just feel too guilty to go take a half hour/1 hour break when there’s still patients to be seen. And I know that there will always be patients coming in, but....I just still feel guilty about taking a break. Unfortunately I’m the only one who loses out in the end, coz all my colleagues make sure they go for an hour lunch (some disappear for even longer!)

I have the same problem when I’m on call...only taking quick breaks for salaah and gobbling down my food before rushing back. But now I’m slowly trying to overcome these feelings of guilt, and actually take a break when I’m on callJ

Anyway enough of that!

You know as a doctor you end up being in many situations; difficult, embarrassing, depressing, totally ridiculous etc. This week I was in a situation that I don’t exactly know how to describe? Uncomfortable, sad...I don’t know!
A little boy and his mum were referred from the audiologist because he needed a referral letter to the tertiary hospital as well as some meds. So after making the appointment, writing the referral letter and the prescription, I began explaining (again) what the process would be on the appointment day. As I’m finishing my sentence the mum looks at me and says “please Dr don’t you have a job for me as a domestic worker?” I was so taken-aback....and this little boy looking at me, smiling as though he wished I would give his mum a job. I was really... I don’t know... Uncomfortable? Sad?  I really don’t know how to describe the feeling. I didn’t know how to answer her because well we already have a domestic worker and yet I felt bad to just say no. So eventually I told her “okay maybe you can write your number here on this page and I can contact you if anything comes up” knowing that I’m just saying that so I don’t hurt her feelings. The eagerness with which she grabbed the pen and quickly wrote down all her possible contact numbers, made me feel even more crap. I felt so ‘unsettled’ after that consultation. Really wish I could help out. I don’t know how I should have acted? Oh dear, oh dear! What would you have done in this situation? 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Random Pic's: The Big Hole Kimberly

The Big Hole in Kimberly South Africa is an old diamond mine. Besides the actual Big Hole an entire replica town has been built giving you the feeling of living 'back in the days' :) Enjoy!
The Entrance


The Big Hole

And Again

The Mine

Wanna make a call;)

Anyone Interested?

Replica of the town

Shoe Shop....

Random Pic's of Cheetah Experience (Bloemfontein)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Lesson of the Day....

When a fellow intern asks to borrow your little torch [that your husband gave you:)]....please please don't forget to ask what it's gonna be used for....mine was pushed today against a little boy's scrotum in an attempt to diagnose a hydrocoele :/

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I've got Internet Again:)

Woohoo:) Yep as the title says, I'm back online so hope to post again soon InshaAllah.