Doctor's Lounge Chat ;)

Doc1: "That patient seriously needs barrier nursing. I'll have to inform the nursing staff."
Doc2:" HaHa! You really think the nurses here understand what  'barrier nursing' is? Normal nursing care here equals: Eating KFC and then touching the patients with the same oily hands. Barrier nursing for them would mean : Eat KFC, wipe hands on buttocks and then touch the patients!!"

Embarrassing Phonecalls

1. It was my first call for Ortho and a patient came in and I needed advice from my Reg. So, I got his number from a list in casualty and as soon as my call was answered, I was like " Hi Dr, this is Sabeehah here, I just wanted to know - there is a 6yr old boy here, who fell while playing soccer presenting with a painful, swollen right forearm. Normal sensation, range of movement limited by pain. X-ray shows what looks like a greenstick fracture of the radius to me. So I wanted to know what I should do for him?" That's when I heard a "Huh?" in a very african accent. So I'm a bit confused and I'm like " Dr?" Then I get this reply in Zulu and I'm like oops wrong number! Talk about a waste of airtime! ( BTW I did take down the number correctly - the list had a wrong digit!)

2. The speed dial numbers at the hospital changed about half way through my rotation so I made a point of writing down the new speed dials of certain important departments, one of which was Patient Transport. The following week, I had to organise transport for a patient to a hospital nearer her home so I dialed the number I had and explained the story. The lady speaking to me seemed a bit confused and said something about being a new lieutenant so she would have to ask her superintendent. While waiting for her to get back I was thinking to myself 'since when do the patient transport call operators have titles like lieutenant and superintendent?' Anyway the lady gets back and asks me the name of the prison I'd like to transfer the person to.
Me: "Prison? No I want to send a patient to Madadeni Hospital"
Lady:" Oh I'm sorry I don't think we can help you with that, as far as I know we've never done something like that."
Me: "But aren't you the patient transport people?"
Lady: "No my dear you've phoned the police station!"

Me (Obviously embarrassed): " I'm so so sorry, I think I dialed the wrong number!"
Me to ward sister: "This speed dial for patient transport when through to the police station!"
Sister (after glancing at the number on the page): "Oh no that's not the number, they re-changed the speed dials 2days ago"

3. Me again trying to organise transport for a patient to Madadeni Hospital. After a frustating 45minutes of being put through to someone who puts me through to someone etc. I finally am transferred back to the person I called initially!! So the lady understands my frustration and gives me the number of patient transport at Madadeni Hospital and advises me to call there directly and see if they can help me. So I call the number.

Me: Hi! Its Dr V here from Northdale Hospital. We have a patient here who was initially transferred from Madadeni Hospital. She is now Day 8 post-op and very stable and we'd like to down refer her to Madadeni. I've been making a lot of phone calls but they've been sending me in circles. I really hope you can help me - she's only 16 and would really like to be closer home."
Lady: "Does the client have an account with us?"
Me(do they really refer to the patients as clients??): "Account? I don't know but she was initially transferred from there.What do you mean account?"
Lady: " An account here at OK's"
Me: "Sorry can I just ask where exactly I've called?"
Lady: " This is OK Furnishers in Newcastle."

[This one became quite a joke in the department!]

I'm around :)

Havent posted in a while - I've just been really busy and oh yes my computer crashed:( How was I supposed to know that I'm meant to 'clean' my computer before installing a new anti-virus? Anyway Alhamdullilah it's been sorted out:)

Last call left for anaesthesio yay :) :) I still have anaesthesio assessments to do - why do I leave things right till the end? I hope it goes well InshaAllah! My next rotation is paeds and I'm not really looking forward to it. I like kids but sick kids are another story!

Security Guard Rant

Two of the three hospitals I rotate through, have the MOST ANNOYING security guards at the entrances.

Scenario 1: Done for the day - unlock my boot at parking space then drive to the main exit. Stop at the gate where guard says she wants to check my boot. Smilingly reply "it's open!". Security guard informs me that I have to get out of the car and physically open the boot ( mind you my car boot is totally empty - my bag is placed on the floor behind the driver's seat). So loosing my smile, I switch off the car, undo the seatbelt, unlock the car door and climb out and go to the boot. Guard stares at empty boot for a few seconds then lifts up bottom part where the spare tyre is located, then closes everything. As I scurry back to the car I'm informed that she would like to check inside the car. At this stage I'm totally not impressed but I open the passenger door. After momentarily sticking in her head, I'm told to open the back door! My blood pressure now reaching malignant levels I somehow manage to calmly open the door as instructed. After a peek I'm finally told that everything is fine and I may proceed. I'm too annoyed to bother greeting the guards standing at the gate and drive off wondering what exactly, the guards are instructed to search for and shake my head in disbelief that she didn't bother checking my bag!

Scenario 2: Reach exit, open window and inform guard that the boot is open. Am told to get off the car and accompany the guard to the boot. While switching off my car and undoing the seatbelt etc. another doctor in the next lane drives past quickly without heeding the guard's shout to stop. So as I get off the car, the guard informs me that since that car drove past without stopping, he's not going to check my boot, because it wont be fair! Whatever??

Yuck!

I'm busy with Anaesthesio at the moment - so today one of the patients was a muslim man (foreigner) and he had a spinal anaesthesia which means he was awake during the op. So everything went fine and I kept checking on him as I would with any other patient. At the end of the op, the anaesthesio nurse turned him over in order to pull out some sheet or something and I think he got a bit startled, lost balance and it looked like he was about to fall off the bed, so I grabbed his shoulder quickly to stabilise him and his face landed my hand. He steadied himself and moved his face and THEN I have no idea what possessed him but he purposely turned his head so that his face rested on my hand!! I was SO disgusted - I didnt know what to do! [my mum said I should have pinched him really hard:)] Anyway we eventually moved him onto his stretcher and I held onto the foot-end of the stretcher as we wheeled him to the recovery room - the dude kept this unfaltering gaze on me:( It was so freaky, I was really upset, so when he asked me something about the op I just ignored him and went to wash my hands thoroughly!  Later while doing pre-meds in the ward he saw me again and wanted to know something but I just pretended I didnt hear! It was really a yucky experience and I shudder just thinking about it!

Random

I seem to have started blogging and then disappeared after my 1st post! Sorry, it's just that I've been really busy and then I was gone to Pretoria for my graduation :)

Graduation was cool ( Alhamdullilah, I didnt trip or do anything silly on stage!) and luckily it lasted just under 2hours. I was feeling really hot though, coz all the graduates had to keep those black gowns on throughout the ceremony. I was actually wondering why graduates have to wear those ridiculous-looking gowns together with the tasseled cap?? Any theories? Anyway it was awesome meeting all my friends and colleagues after 4months!

Post Number 1

After toying around with the idea of blogging for the past year (or maybe more!) I've FINALLY completed setting up my blog, Alhamdullillah :) Of course this blog would still be non-existent, if it were not for the constant goading (and bullying!) by BintMahmood ;) So anyway welcome to my world (",)